Hang on to your butts...

Goodbye November, thanks for all the continued blessings.

December, I'm ready for you and all your crazy scheduled events.

Let's. Do. This.

Life and such....

I'm perfectly aware of how much I need to get it together in the blogger world. I swear, I have all these posts in my head and I sit back and think "Oh yeah! someone will read that." "That would be an awesome topic." but then I sit here and it becomes more "Here's my family and I doing mundane things."

So annoying. I miss when I seemed more relevant and posted more than once a month! Such is life, it's been wonderfully busy and I guess posting about my family is just the only focus I can give to the blog.

As I said, it's been busy for my sweet little family.

Avery left her old school after more than 1 incident that left Evan and I ready to go to war with the administrators. I feel like all these things that happened the first 5wks of school had to happen in order for us to find her new school because it is such a BLESSING. We are so happy with the entire campus and she was welcomed instantly and LOVES it there so much.

Alyssa is growing like a weed and is loving MDO. She is starting to be more vocal and you can understand her a lot better. She's so stinking cute with her sing song voice and manners. They had a Donuts with Dad a few weeks ago but daddy couldn't be there due to work, so Pawpa came instead and she had such a fun time with him!

As for Evan and I? Just work work and more work. Oh to be a kid again, right?!

Labor Day Tradition

Growing up was different for me than most. I was raised by my grandparents who later adopted myself and my brother Jonathon. Our youngest brother, Josh, was adopted by our aunt. Our other sister, Desi was adopted to distant family and the youngest of the 5 of us was raised by our birth parents. Holidays were always full of family but mainly spent in the car going to and from a few relatives. We never saw Desi, Jackye entered our lives when she was 5 and that was randomly until she was 9.

My brothers and I saw each other on the weekends and holidays and other than living 30min apart it didn't seem so odd or different until we were older and understood more of why we were where we were and why our last names were different after the adoptions went through. You dig?

All that to say that once I married Evan, my life was changed beyond measure. Evan has a HUGE family. Even better? They embraced me and loved me from the get go! Their traditions are now our traditions and I've been so happy to share with the girls a few special traditions that my grandfather instilled in me every year. My upbringing was hard and sad but that man did everything in his power to bring some normalcy to it and joy in times of the year that I resented most.

Now that I'm a mommy and have my own family, traditions are MAJORLY important to both Evan and I. Little things to big things, we are all about making memories and keeping family traditions going.

Labor Day is a tradition.

What do we do? We go on a minor road trip. The past 4yrs now, we have picked a direction, picked a time limit (or mile limit) and then planned a random trip over the weekend for wherever we ended up. It's been fun! One year we went to Austin, another it was Wichita Falls and this year we landed in Abilene. It's just a way we celebrate the end of summer and now with Avery officially in School it was also a way to celebrate her starting school and surviving the first week. Evans parents come with us too I must add. It's the best.

So much fun and yet we didn't do much. Lounged at the hotel pool, watched movies and played Wii. Went to some local places recommended and visited a church. Overall, just being together as a family and enjoying being out of our bubble.

My cuties and the Giant Armadillo in Buffalo Gap, TX



Do you have any traditions you look forward to every year?

You Guys...

Today, it was 68*.

Fall is finally making it's way here and I couldn't be more excited. It's my FAVORITE season.

*happy dance*

Parenting

This week has been such an emotional roller coaster for me. To think I was laughing at friends over the summer as they got weepy-eyed and vented about how they were not ready for their babies to go to kindergarten.


Now I'm one of them. I know, I know. Spare your eye rolls and cynical comments, I'm not proud of these sniffles and misty eyed moments that I will admit, have evolved into the ugly cry (twice). Nobody said being a mother was easy and bless it, it's not!


I thought the newborn stage was hard enough. Seeing this tiny human you helped nurture and grow inside you, now being held in your arms and depending on you for EVERYTHING. Add that to your emotions all while your experiencing true love at first sight and what it feels like to have your heart living outside of your body. It's intense.


So now the last 5 years are coming ahead. On Monday, I will let Avery go out into the real world without me holding her hand or helping her make those tough decisions. It's all on her now, and that is unsettling. Did I teach her enough? Will she be okay? Is she as smart as the other kids? Will she remember her manners? The obnoxious uncertainties are ridiculous, I'm more than aware. However, it's where my head is at late at night.....


I can't be the only mother doing this to themselves, in fact, I know I'm not!


I'm sure the carpet by my bed is going to be worn pretty thin the next 5 days, Lord knows I've shed more tears and prayed harder than before Avery was born. I know she's covered, I know she will be fine and is going to make so many friends and learn so much. But for those moments in which she isn't...I just want to handle it for her and protect her from it. Selfishly.


I'm sure a month from now I'll be sitting with my morning coffee and scoffing at myself and how pathetic I am being while my kindergartner is busy being a rock star in both school and life.


Yeah.....Nobody said being a mother was easy and bless it, it's not.

Struggles

Anyone else still struggling with the news of Robin Williams death?

I find it so interesting how one person can effect so many people, a stranger no less. Sure, he was a high profile celebrity with a resume a mile long, but hardly any of us personally knew him, and yet here we are mourning with those who actually did know him personally.

He had a way with humor. He brought joy, laughter and so many times outside of the movies, a sense of grace and humbleness most of those in Hollywood fail to possess. His charity causes and USO appearances were hugely under noted in his career but ask those who know of it and they can tell you that he was a man who took pride in the military and never hesitated to help children with cancer or rare diseases.

Then of course were his dark periods. It should be no surprise about his battles with addiction and alcohol. He was open and candid about them and was never one to boast about defeating his demons when he went through the public process of handling them and succeeding it would seem. But apparently, he couldn't defeat the biggest one he had.

Depression is a very real issue in the world. It effects more people than any other known disease (And yes, that IS what it is, not a state of mind or an emotion).People struggle daily with it and in many ways, both mentally and physically. You can't just stop being depressed, there is no switch to turn it off and on. Oddly enough statistics show that most outwardly happy people suffer from it. The humor is a facade, a decoy so to speak to keep the denial at bay and make people not notice.

This year I have had to personally deal with a death that was a result of depression. Yes, it was a suicide. However, I don't believe suicide to be the cause of death in that situation. Just as I refuse to say that Robin Williams died of suicide. He didn't. Nor did my friend of 11yrs whom I spoke with just a day before he passed away. Depression is what they died of.

Depression is a complicated Mental illness. It affects at least 35 million people in the USA alone. Chances are, you know someone struggling with it. Chances are, they've reached out to you once or twice. Chances are, you said the same thing they get told by the ones closest to them.

I hope he found peace at last.


-Brittnye

Transitions

So now with summer winding down and coming to an end, reality is hitting me full force. 

 THINGS. ARE. CHANGING.

 So many new things are starting in a matter of two weeks and whereas I felt prepared and in total control a mere 8 weeks ago, I feel like I'm running in circles with my head cut off now.

 Avery starts KINDERGARTEN on the 25th. 

 Alyssa Starts PRESCHOOL on September 2nd.

 I start a new JOB on the 26th at the PRESCHOOL.

 Yep. You read that right, I'm working again! Mind you, it's a small thing that more or less will allow me to stay distracted about my babies not being babies anymore and going crazy with boredom. Then again, I have to say it's such a God-Send. 

 I had just started talking to Evan about wanting to finally take some steps of taking myself more seriously and finally making an effort to put myself first. Small conversations late at night mind you, when my brain is going a million miles an hour rather than turning off so I can sleep. As usual he was super supportive and agreed with me which freaked me out, so I decided to seriously think and Pray over it. 

 What in the world would I do with two days a week kid free?! What is something I'd want to do after a 4yr working hiatus? Should I try for some night classes at NCTC? I could always step up my volunteering at the shelter more. Just lots to think and pray over... 

Well, withing a week of me half jokingly telling Evan I was thinking of working again or finding something to occupy my new found free time... I get approached by three people, about three separate job openings, at three places I love and frequently go to.

 How in the world does THAT happen?! 

 It was a pretty surreal week to say the least. My quiet times were full of things to surrender and seriously consider. All those pesky fears and doubts tried their best to make me turn down all the offers but in the end, God made it very clear where I needed to be planted. Where my heart would be happiest and where I could do more good and feel amazing at the end of the day. Then add this gem spoken to me from our Pastor. "God is sovereign in all of life's transitions. He gives you grace, he gives you direction and meets you in the middle." "Without a clear purpose you will tend to make choices based on circumstances, pressures and your mood at the moment." (In response to Romans 7:15-25 which was thrown at me repeatedly in a 2wk span)

 How can you ignore that?! 

 As soon as I accepted the offer my heart felt a little overwhelmed. So many people were happy and excited for and with me and I felt so much peace and reassurance about all these big changes happening to our little family. 

 So sure, I may be running around frantic trying to sort out what exactly needs to get done in the next 2wks before all these transitions start to take place, but at least my direction and path are clearly given and protected. Its reassuring on a number of levels. Doesn't mean I'm not going to cry a lot over my babies growing up so ridiculously fast, or have some trepidations for Avery as she enters a whole new normal. Or even Alyssa as she hits another crazy milestone and is put in the care of someone non family for the first time ever. (let it be known, both her teachers are friends and AMAZING woman and I trust them completely). 

 So many changes and I'm ready for each one. 

-Brittnye

Life is so much more than black and white

Summer time is here.

June is already in full swing and so goes our summer break. I must say the first two weeks were rough as I woke up and packed Avery's lunch then woke her up only to remember that schools over! She wasn't happy about that either as she dearly loves her school as well as her friends, so adjusting to no longer seeing them as much and not having school was hard to handle. I think we're over that hardship though as now she continues to write and draw me pictures and stories about her new friends at her new school. 9 weeks to go....

We've grilled a lot, slept in a lot, had a few play dates

Avery and her BFFS (Anna & Sophia)

A fun day at the Dallas world Aquarium

We went to the movies and yesterday finally busted out the swimsuits on a low key Fathers Day.

   It's officially summer. Nothing big planned like last year (thankfully). We have VBS in 3wks, then a girls road trip to Georgia the week after that and possibly a trip to Galveston for a fun weekend but we may bypass that for a stay-cation.

Otherwise I don't have much to update on, which is weird. 

What are fun things you do in the summer time?

-Britt

How Do You Measure A Year?

It's official.

I have a KINDERGARTNER.

I should be asleep with the rest of the house but the entirety of today's events have caught up to me. My feet are killing me, my back aches and I've been weepy and crying off and on since 9pm. Oh the joys of being a mom. We won't even discuss the sink full of dirty dishes or the three loads of laundry awaiting me...

Tonight, we celebrated Avery's graduation from Pre-K. Yep, she graduated. 

The whole day was devoted to making her feel special and celebrating this milestone. For me, keeping busy was a much needed distraction.

                            "Besties"

 Is it weird to be so hung up over her heading to kindergarten? I feel justified as the other moms in her PreK class have expressed similar joy and sorrow but for some reason I didn't really cry about it until tonight, after all was said and done. Something about seeing pictures and video of her make her way across the stage struck me but the ultimate ruination of my emotions was a simple video clip of her sitting on stage and a huge smile beaming across her face as she looks towards the crowd, spots me and shouts "Hi Mommy!" And waves this adorable bashful and proud wave...

My. Total. Undoing.

Evan literally sat up and asked "Are you really crying?! Over that?!" I couldn't help it. It was such a sweet moment captured of both her independence of graduating PreK and heading to kindergarten yet her innocence of still needing me.

As she walked across the stage to accept her diploma they also bestowed her spirit gift to which she was awarded the gift of Joy. I wish I could remember word for word how they described her and how she fit that so perfectly because everything they spoke of her, was her spot on. You could totally see it in her presence on stage! From the way she half skipped across stage, how she sat in her seat, the way she clapped for each and every friend, how she smiled brightly and waved to people in the crowd...all of it...joyful. Avery.

We are so proud of her. It's been an amazing two years at Kidzone Academy and two years before that as MSBC All Stars Learning Center. She has been going to this place since before she was even born! I think that's the most bittersweet part of this chapter closing. 

We've been so blessed for so long by our church and the school. The teachers and staff are also friends and family! They've supported us, prayed with us, hugged and cried with us and have loved Avery as there own since day one. To go there 4 days a week to now just 2 will be a huge change in our routine but thankfully we have Sunday school and Awana. Not only that, but Alyssa will start at Kidzone in September and a new chapter with a different star will begin!

For now though, we are relishing our final week at Kidzone and preparing for August where new adventures and new beginnings await....

Time Flies....

Brittnye

Get Happy!

Www.100happydays.com

I signed up today. I wanna see what makes YOU happy too.

-Brittnye

The City Harmonic - Here and There

This song. Is where I'm at lately.

-Brittnye

Heart beat, little heart
There You are, there You are
I came kicking, I came screaming:
I was so used to the dark

You whispered “light” and lit a spark
And there You are, there You are
I’ve been living, I’ve been dying
And Your heart beats ever on

You were
You are
You are
To come

If I’m barely hanging on:
Here You are, here You are
I come crawling, I come running:
Here You are with open arms

No, my heart’s not giving up
Here You are, here You are
You’ve been living in my dying
Now I’m dying for Your heart

You were
You are
You are
To come 

My heart is like Pandora’s Box
With just a crack it’s opened up
To beat anew when all is lost
To run, crawl, come home.

You are to come 

http://youtu.be/6LTz4oQuNKs

29 Things I've Learned At 29.

1. Moisturizer is your friend.

2. Age is only a number.

3. As long as you continue to achieve your goals and dreams, it truly doesn't matter how many times you failed. Just that you never gave up.

4. We are our own worst critic.

5. Find something to be passionate about.

6. Laughing at yourself is totally acceptable and quite refreshing.

7. Eating alone at a restaurant is actually not the end of the world, try it.

8. You can not do it all and be everywhere at once, accept that.

9. Gray hair happens.

10.  Some friendships are worth letting go of, it's okay if you grow apart or have nothing in common. Just let it go.

11. If you've never tried something before, don't say you don't like it or would never do it before giving it a try. You may surprise yourself.

12. You don't actually have to make your bed everyday.

13. Read a book.

14. Every once in awhile write someone a little note and actually mail it to them. (You know as in through the post office...using envelopes and a stamp)

15. Do what makes you happy and never regret it!

16. Change is inevitable, how you handle and react to it is key.

17. We all have flaws, don't hide them.

18. A smile can change everything.

19.  Paying it forward feels better than receiving something. Practice random acts of kindness weekly.

20.  Stand by your choices.

21. Save more money.

22.  Stop comparing yourself to others. It's such a waste of time.

23. When the feeling hits you, dance.

24. Dessert before a meal is totally acceptable.

25. Conquer a fear and feel empowered.

26. Everyone has bad days, stuff happens. Just remember there's always a tomorrow.

27.  Get outside more.

28. Naps are good for the soul.

29. There's still so much I have yet to learn. If you don't know about something, don't pretend to. Ask questions and seek facts.

29 and feeling fine!

I Turned 29 on the 1st. 

Yes, yes, I've finally arrived at the last year in my 20's and I'm totally embracing it with acceptance, grace and love. I honestly do not see the big deal. So many of my friends (husband included) are freaking out about turning 30 and I can assure you I won't be that way.

I say own it. Embrace it, because EVERYONE ages and gets older. It's part of your journey and you can't tell your story if you don't accept and live in EVERY moment and capacity in which it's given.

It was a fun birthday. The high was 80*, the sky was clear and sun was shining. I got my hair cut and colored after a year of waiting, did some clothes shopping for myself (gasp!) and came home to a childhood tradition and two of the sweetest cards a wife and mommy could get!

                    Getting pampered.

My childhood birthday tradition still going strong.

Evan and I decided to keep it low key with just a date night out but it turned into a fun overnight trip. We decided to do/try two things we've never done before. Go against our typical fave local food spots and a movie and just try something different and new.

The results were trying a new restaurant outside of town and driving 30min north to experience our first ever casino. We had so much fun! We had dinner at Horny Toad Cafe www.hornytoadcafe.com

It recently opened at the old Good Eats which was our go to place when we were dating, we even got engaged in the parking lot in front of it!! So we were excited to see the building being used again and even more happy now as we will definitely be going back repeatedly!

After dinner, we drove up to winstar world casino (along with half of North Texas it seemed) and spent 4hrs playing slots, people watching, drinking free sodas and witnessing a man win $35,000 (I kid you not). It was fun and interesting but it was also sad and somewhat depressing watching so many people. I came out +34$ and Evan came out +22$ so not losing money was nice. We drove back to Denton after midnight and checked into a hotel to enjoy a child free night (I.E- a solid night of sleep! Best gift ever mom and dad!)

As ever with Texas weather my beautiful 80* and sunny Saturday turned into 28* and sleet and snow by Sunday morning. We were so glad we didn't get a hotel in Oklahoma or away from Denton as the roads turned bad as we headed to church and were even worse after service. 

Such a nice and mellow ending to my birthday celebration though as we capped off the weekend with hot chocolate, a fire and movies in Pjs with the girls.

Bring on 30, I'm ready!

               Accidental Twinsies

Xoxo,

Britt

Monthly update time!

So much for blogging more.

March has been such a busy and fun month! Between birthdays (both mine and Evans), a weekend trip for me and a guys weekend for him, add spring break for Avery and your caught up.

I love the bustle of life these days. There's been so much time spent with family and friends, so many memorable moments captured as small reflections forever held in my heart. It's funny and rare to catch your breath when life is so full and yet oftentimes, people complain the most during these seasons of life. I was just telling Evan last night how it felt weird (in a good way) to be home on a Sunday night with nothing to do for once and yet just the weekend before I had walked in from a weekend in Austin and wished for just 5min to unpack and catch my breath! It's a no win struggle I suppose. 

Our family is getting into a new routine finally. Evan went to day shift 3wks ago and now is home at night! The first week was rough, as I was alone all day with both girls and quickly realized how good I had it with Evan willing and able to let me run errands or grocery shop solo. Yeah, lesson learned on having both with me when it's close to a meal time or nap time. The girls seemed confused on why daddy was putting them in the bath and doing bedtime when usually mommy does it all, add Avery's not understanding why there were no more daddy bedtime calls since he was with her (seriously, she had an emotional meltdown the first 3 nights. Bless her heart.) and it was a bit chaotic.

I love it.

Now around 4, both girls (Mitsu too) sit at the window with the blinds up and eagerly await his red truck pulling in the drive. 

I'm loving being able to cook actual dinners now and all of us eating whole meals together, it truly is the simplistic things that melt my heart. Also, HELLO social life and date nights, it's been so long!

I tease. Kinda.

-Brittnye

Alyssa Jane 1yr Pics

First and foremost. Huge love and appreciation to Emily Davis over at www.emilydavisphoto.com

She knows the easiest way to my heart, and how to make me cry happy tears all by taking a picture that will forever be a treasured memory in this mommas heart.

We enjoyed our time playing and smiling and clapping nonstop. Alyssa's favorite thing to do these days. You know, besides WALKING.

Slow down precious one, slow down.

Enjoy!

Britt & Alyssa

                      

       What a difference a year makes!

                   Such a little lady.

           "Clap, clap, clap your hands"

    "You mean I have to keep this on!?"

 

Sometimes you stop long enough to look around you .

Reflecting tonight after my quiet time.

 I have the Best in-loves and "Nina & Pawpa" on the planet, so Blessed with them as my parents. A little overwhelmed with how much they love on me sometimes. Makes it hard to understand my birth parents and things in my childhood.

My girls will never go through what I did and that's all that matters.

 Watching them with these two reassures me that they are safe and they are truly loved. I've come a long way in the 10yrs since God put them in my life. I'm able to forgive, able to heal and finally live my life the way God intended me too without hiding.

O-N-E

 Alyssa Jane turned 1 on Sunday. Hard to believe it's been a year already! I've dealt with my denial, I had a good cry, I boxed up tiny baby mementos and looked over her baby pictures all while whining to Evan about how time needs to slow down.

Alyssa facts:

She's 21lbs, is 31inches tall (99 percentile). She has 4 teeth and is almost walking solo. She likes to read books, clap to music, sing songs and watch Bubble Guppies. 

Her Faves: Blueberries, bananas, French fries, yogurt bites, waffles and green beans.

Not so faves: Pasta, peas, strawberries, beef anything and oatmeal.

Aly,

My sweet, joyful, giggly girl. How I adore your smile and love your laugh. You make our family complete. You are such a blessing to your daddy and I and I know you make your big sister awfully proud with all your milestones and achievements. 

We are truly thankful God chose you for us. How I miss your kicks and bizarre cravings during my pregnancy, how we laughed at how you would react to Avery's voice versus your daddy's. The day you were born, I was so calm and happy. I was never afraid or nervous, I wasn't even anxious. You came on your due date all on your own in what was an easy delivery. You were bright eyed and curious of everything around you and you slept! I knew then you were going to be amazing.

 The past 365 days you have stirred things in my heart, you've helped me slow down and reminded me to stop and take in what's happening around us. You've  created new bonds with your sister and family and even friendships we owe to you and your "cuteness". You are a very loved girl. I hope you always know this first and foremost. That you are loved, you are cherished and you are priceless my sweet girl.

 Your personality shines like the sun. You are so spunky and happy ALL the time. You hardly cry unless your impatient about food or ready for bed. You love music and bubble guppies. You sing anytime your can and are a hoarder or binkies and books. I hope these things never change, well, the binkies of course but everything else is so you.

Happy Birthday, Darling BaBoo.

Mommy, Daddy and Big Sister Avery 

Stay tuned for pictures from her 1yr photo shoot. Coming soon!