Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Don't Blink...

I have a few precious moments of solitude as both the babes are asleep and Evan is still at work for another hour so here I am. Yes, my sink is full of dishes, the trash is overflowing (ahem, Evans slacking there), the living room looks like a tornado came through a few times and quite frankly, you don't want to know the layers of spit up I have on me at the moment.

Isn't motherhood grand?!

The past 2 weeks have been interesting for me with a few realizations and eye opening "Ah-ha!" moments. I've learned in the past month that with having a second child you learn to just let things go easier. Things I now wish I had learned with Avery. Then again, we didn't have visitors in Fort Worth. Being back in Denton, we have visitors every week! That's not a complaint mind you, I love it. I love having this connection with so many amazing people and being 2-10min away from them at any given time. The support, help, social life and overall handy-ness of it is overwhelming at times whereas with Avery everyone was 30min away.

I've come to realize in the simplest of ways that some things just do not matter.

That easy.

My house will be dirty occasionally but I'll clean it when it matters. I may not get to shower everyday (I've literally debated over a shower or extra sleep this week) or it may only be allowed around 2am but my hair will always be clean. Dishes will pile up, laundry too. I will no longer spaz out over it or get anxious with the thought of a unannounced visitor seeing my house not look like the cover of Better Homes. (Don't we all wish we could have homes look like that that are actually lived in?!) and here's why...

  • I have 2 small children who need me more than the dirty dishes. They also grow up ridiculously fast and I refuse to miss out on special moments due to needing to vacuum for the millionth time a day.
  • I have 2 cats that are indoor only and occasionally forget where their little box is.
  • My couches are hand me downs, mix matched and falling apart due to also being the gymnastic course for the 4yr old.
  • Don't even ask about my carpet, I've tried every remedy to remove those stains, they refuse to permanently die.

Life is so short. I used to scoff and laugh at people who would say that since it always seems most convenient after someone passes away to say that? But with Alyssa's birth...I'm afraid to blink. She is growing so quickly and it seems that now with her arrival and joining the family that Avery has decided to just become a little lady and is a different child from 2 months ago.

 I'm so busy trying to be super woman that I'm missing out on the small memories, the little things that make it all so cherish-able. My camera has hardly been used!! Add to that how I'm becoming more aware that my free time from not nursing or comforting Alyssa I'm using to clean or pick up when Avery simply asks mommy to play with her and I have said no because of housework. Seriously!? I doubt I ever forget seeing out of the corner of my eye her shoulders slump and turn in the hallway to walk to her bedroom while whispering "mommy never plays with me" last week. My heart broke then and there in my dining room as I looked around the living room and kitchen and just stopped. Stopped letting the mundane and superficial garbage take priority over my girls, my free time and my memory making.

So here's to you freak of nature type a's out there.

Come see my dirty house, my messy appearance and shake your head as I run late to anything and everything. In the end, my children are healthy, happy and thriving and I'm more content and sated in bliss because of it all. Some things in life can wait. I can have that Better Homes house in 18 years.


Sunday, February 24, 2013


I've already shared Averys pictures from the oh-so-amazing Emily Davis so I find it only fair to share some of Alyssa's Newborn pics. I know, I'm becoming that annoying mom who does nothing but talk about and flaunt pictures of their kids due to not having a life outside them lately. Deal with it. :)

She's already 5 weeks old and ever changing. Craziness. How precious and fast these simple times of just holding and feeding and changing her are flying by. Soon, she'll be like her sister and I won't be able to snuggle or cuddle unless she's under the weather or has a small boo boo. Such is the life of a parent.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Welcome to Earth, Alyssa Jane.... (Her Birth Story, Long)

So unless you live under a rock, randomly found my blog for the first time tonight or just happen to be the under 10% who don't do anything social media related then it's no surprise or secret that our sweet family finally grew 2 weeks ago. Yes indeed, our sweet, beautiful and perfectly on time Alyssa Jane has arrived! Life the past 2 weeks has seemed to have flown by, hard to believe she's here (finally) or that I now have 2 girls!!!

The last 2 weeks of my pregnancy I was in prodromal labor or in simple English, false labor. This was super annoying as my body kept having contractions from 20min down to 5min apart non stop everyday. We went to L&D twice where the contractions would suddenly stop and wouldn't show up on the monitor yet they could feel them physically and I was slowly dilating and effacing more and more. I was miserable emotionally, I felt so dumb not knowing if I should go in or not. I also found out I was Group B positive which explained why I had an infection they couldn't find in early December that had everyone confused.

So Friday night, the 18th, Evan was supposed to be off work but got called in. Nan and Gary didn't want me to be alone so they invited Avery and I over for dinner and just to pretty much "babysit" me while Evan was at work since I wasn't feeling too well and was exhausted. I had napped hard earlier that day and my appetite was nowhere to be found all week which had Evan as usual, worried about me. We had dinner at Roadhouse where I barely ate my salad and potato and then went back to Mom and Dads to hang out and await Jarrod and Sarah. Once they showed up and started playing with Avery, my contractions started again but this time...they felt different...this time....they kinda hurt! I ignored them since I didn't think anything of it but over the next hour and a trip downstairs for fro-yo I was starting to think it may be time to call Evan home. Nan kept watching me and could tell something was up with me. I couldn't sit comfortably and would stand behind the chair and lean over it then walk up and down the hallway. I'm so stupidly stubborn sometimes and I didn't want to say anything to anyone because we had already had 2 false alarms. I txted Evan and when he called was trying to talk in code so they wouldn't hear me pretty much tell him "Hey, come get me, I think I'm in labor." (Again, I'm stubborn)

Evan showed up to which I just looked at Nan after talking to her and said we'd see them later. Gave hugs and said goodnight to Avery as she was staying with them and we headed to L&D yet again. We went home first, packed a bag for Avery, packed more for the hospital, took care of the cats and then headed to the hospital where I was in tears from the contractions which were 3min apart. Got checked in to L&D at 10:45pm and I kid you not, 20min later...everything stopped. Contractions disappeared, back pain, all stopped. I was so mad and just drained over it all. The nurses suggested we walk so we spent an hour walking up and down the skybridge where I had the most painful contraction that literally stopped me dead and had me gasping for breath, crying and shaking. but it didn't last or continue. Went back to our room where the nurse said my OB wanted me to stay overnight just to be sure. She'd see me in the morning before I was discharged. So..Evan went to sleep and I stayed up all night frustrated that yet again, I wasted everyones time and swearing my body was against me. My nurse wasn't too nice or huge on communicating but would check in every few hours and around 2am asked if I wanted a sleep aid which I declined. She came back at 3am with a tech and had me fill out paperwork which I assumed were my discharge papers since the monitor wasn't picking anything up even though I was feeling a few contractions here and there but nothing painful or notable to time.

The tech came back shortly after I signed the paperwork and started an IV. When I asked her why they were starting an IV when I was being discharged in a few hours she just said my OB ordered it and I was doing lab work anyway so it was easier if she just did my IV. I was too tired to care at that point. Around 5:30 they came and took a ton of blood from me, at 6am my OB walked in with my new nurse Megan, who had been my nurse the first time we came to L&D and remembered me so I was excited to see her (she's amazing, funny and super sweet). My OB just smiled and told me it was up to me what would happen next. I had been in prodromal labor for 13days, she knew I was miserable and it was my due date so I could stay or we could go home and see what happens but I was at a 4 and fully effaced so it was all down to when my water would break. So I looked at Evan and just started crying and said "I want to stay, I'm tired." and she literally looked at the nurse and said "alright, let's break her water and then let her rest for the morning, she'll have this baby fast." So, they immediately broke my water and the contractions started within 5 minutes from that, they painful ones and yet again, the monitor wasn't picking anything up.

I mentioned how amazing my nurse was right? Well, seriously, she was! She watched the monitor then my breathing and finally said "Let's get an internal monitor going I bet your contractions are too low for the belly monitors to read." she set up the internal monitor and the screens lit up with contractions 3 min apart and strong! They then started my 1st round of heavy antibiotics for GBS in which I suddenly couldn't stop shaking or crying or almost seizing from the pain. Seriously, it was the most intense pain, burning sensation up my arm and shoulder. I've never felt that kind of pain and Evan thought it was all from the contractions but it was from the IV. Evan freaked out and called the nurse but it wasn't Megan who came in, it was the night nurse and she simply looked at Evan and I and said "it can't be that bad, it's a strong antibiotic and it'll be over in 5min, just try to relax" and with that she walked out of the room. SERIOUSLY?! Glad it wasn't an emergency.

So I cried and screamed and Evan rubbed my back and tried to help me through the antibiotic which did finish shortly after the rude nurse came in. Megan came in soon after and got me some ice and let me know I was at a 6 and doing good and set a goal time of 3pm to have Alyssa. She was so set that I would be in my PP room by 4pm and stayed and chatted with us for awhile. I told Evan to go on and take a shower and take Averys bag to mom and dads since it would be awhile yet and as tired as I was, was going to try to sleep. Megan told him it wouldn't be anytime soon and since he was still in his Peterbilt uniform should go get cleaned up.

I rested off and on between contractions, they were getting more intense but I was breathing through them and not really freaking out like I did with Avery's labor. With those contractions I couldn't breathe or relax and had got my epidural super early to help which ended up being a spinal block so I was numb and dead from the waist down by the time I was a 4. Here I was at a 6 and doing good so I decided to wait an hour before getting my epidural so Evan could be back. Yeah, he takes forever which I should have known better so I got my epidural while he was gone. My body started shaking again and even with Megan helping me sit still it took the anesthesiologist 3 attempts because I kept moving and shifting right as he would try to stick it. Once he got it and set up the pack on my IV he handed me the button and said to just hit it when I needed more help with the pain. Megan had the bed propped up so I was in a yoga sitting position to help Alyssa transition lower faster and checked me again (It was 11:30) and I was at a 7! Then we came up with a plan to freak Evan out since he was taking forever. When he walked in all fresh and clean and full of food, I was propped up in bed with a pillow in front of me while Megan was sitting next to me and when she saw him she said "Oh my gosh! You missed you wife in action, your Alyssa is so beautiful!! Did you see her in the nursery?!" In which I added "You missed it all! I had her so fast! What took you so long!?"

His face was priceless. He seriously stood there in shock and thought I had already had her. Megan and I laughed so hard at him before we then has to explain to him I was still very much pregnant but it would be soon and he missed helping with the epidural.

Megan left to get my second round of antibiotics, when she came back Evan and I both asked her a million questions about the meds because I was not going to take it again if I had to feel that much pain. When Megan scolded us for not saying something earlier Evan explained what the other nurse had said and done and Megan just shook her head and said she'd make sure it wasn't so bad. She literally stayed at the IV and pushed fluids with the anitbiotics to flush it through my arm faster. It didn't hurt nearly as bad and after it was done she said she'd let Dr. Dooley know how it affectd me but doubted I would need another round since I was so close to having Alyssa.

So during all this, I'm feeling the contractions more and more. I'm breathing more through them and grabbing the rail for support. When Megan asked if I was feeling them I would tell her Yes and she would press my button but nothing was she'd press the button on the pack at my iv stand and I'd go numb on my left side for only a few minutes. Pretty much, my epidural had failed. It wasn't taking effect.

Oddly enough though, I was handling the contractions just fine. I wasn't in any real pain, just uncomfortable. They didn't last long enough to really hurt or make me tense up and I was still sitting up right and moving my legs and just waiting for the next one.

Here's where it gets a little embarressing for me. My contractions were getting super intense but along with them came this crazy pressure in my butt, like I needed to go to the bathroom type feeling. It kept getting stronger and stronger and I finally looked at Evan and told him how I needed to go to the bathroom before I had an embarressing accident!! He didn't feel comfortable with me getting up so he called for Megan. When she walked in I was almost begging her to help me get tot he bathroom because I didn't want to have an accident. She just laughed and assured me it was Alyssa's head, not the other thing. I didn't believe her though and started arguing with her about what I was feeling! I mean, I would know the difference right?! She was trying not to laugh at my freaking out and finally said she'd check me to see where I was at. To which I was at a 10 and Alyssa was almost there! She told me to lay on my left side to help move Alyssa shift a bit while she went to get Dr. Dooley.  She came back in and had me go back on my back and we'd do a practice push. Evan and her started counting me off for the practice push and once I pushed they both said to stop.

Evan just kept saying "Her head! Her head is out, don't push Britt!". Megan ran to the door and asked for help when several nurses came in with Dr. Dooley who was getting a gown on. She looked at me and said "We do our practice pushing? We ready to have this baby? It's only 1:27, your beating Megans goal time!" Megan came back to my leg and told her "No, no more practice pushing, she's already crowned!" and then I was swarmed by everyone telling me not to push yet. (not so easy when every contraction felt like I was already pushing) One Tech waited for Dr. Dooley to get in postion then said "Okay, let's time these pushes and have this baby girl." Yeah.....

I pushed 2 short times and at 1:32pm Alyssa Jane Hartfield was placed in my arms. Healthy, perfect, a full head of dark hair and weighing in at 7lbs 4oz and 19.5inches long. On her due date no less. :)

Proud Daddy.

We did it!

Avery, Mom and Dad arrived shortly afterwards. Avery was afraid of her sister and didn't want to get near her at all. She also didn't like Nina taking pictures or Pawpa holding the baby.

Easy Labor, Easy Delivery, and 2wks down, she is simply an easy baby. Avery is no longer afraid of her, in fact, she loves her sister and loves helping out anyway she can. It's so sweet to watch these two together, seriously. We're so blessed. It's just ridiculous. :)



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