Saturday, December 19, 2009

Avery Claire Hartfield


Dear God,
 A year ago today you gave me the BIGGEST blessing of my life. You showed my husband and I what love creates and what love gives. I will never be able to put into words the joy you have given me in Avery the past 365 days. From every smile to giggle to every milestone and moments in awe. You have given me a life yet again and my debt to you seems to be unpayable. THANK YOU for my amazing little girl.

Thank you for choosing her for us and vice versa, for thinking we were prepared and capable of raising her, for giving us the energy on those sleepless nights, the stomach to handle to blow out diapers and spit ups that never ended, the patience when she couldn't stop crying and we were still figuring out what works. For the tears of joy, the tears of awe and the tears of knowing she's ours.

Thank you for showing me what Love is in so many unmeasurable moments, for the mornings in bed cuddling, the sweet sound of her first word (mama), her laugh, her toothy smiles, her happy hand clap when she knows she's done something great to even her shy shoulder shrug when she's guilty of doing something bad.

For her love in music and animals, for her awe in everything; the sky, the trees, grass, dirt...her innocence has in a way made me realize how much I was taking life for granted and showed me how I needed to slow down and actually take it all in.

Thank You for Blessing me so Richly.

Happy Birthday Munchkin, we love you so very vey much!

Sunday, December 6, 2009


I promise you, I am still alive.

I never knew how dependant I was to our Macbook until it decided to crash on us. Then again, it can also be said that I never realized how many people depended on my blogs and updates to know how we were doing.

The Hartfield house has been crazy as usual. We ended up going to Missouri for Thanksgiving after all and that was due to a call for help from Evans day wed. night at 6pm saying he was broke down outside of OKC with a cat. We literally packed up Avery, my sister, Evan and myself and were on the road in less than 2 hours! Good thing we drove through the night, Avery had never been in a car or her car seat that long before and she THANKFULLY slept 89% of the way. The way back  however, took us 14 hours and once we got to OKC she was no longer happy about it. Bless her heart.

Still though, 5 states in 48 hours, WHEW!

I took my sister to Austin last Wed. too in one of the worst fog/rainy drives ever! I thought I was going to die a few times, no joke, truckers barrel through hwys no matter what the conditions! It was worth it though, I <3 Austin.

We also took Avery to the Texan Gaylord ICE! exhibit, she loved it! her little nose was so red when we got out of there though and the parkas they make you wear were huge on her. I'll post some pics soon, promise.

Let me see what else?.....

The rent house hunt is full blown now, Evan and I are so excited to move back to Denton. We went to the Tree lighting Thursday night and saw so many friends and loved ones some of whom we haven't seen in years! With Evans parents living on the square it just made it so much cooler to watch and hear the square from their bedroom window. I can't wait to come back home.

Avery turns 1 in 2 weeks, yikes!

OH YEAH! Avery is also WALKING now. She started doing it Friday when I would leave the room she was in she would cry and then suddenly after this took place a few times I heard a giggle only to find her walking to me in the kitchen! I screamed in excitement which caused her to topple and cry. haha

Now, she stands herself up and toddles towards Evan or me and sometimes she makes it and others she kinda gets tired half way and crawls the rest. Still, very exciting for our baby girl!!!

Monday, November 23, 2009

That time of year...

Avery will be 1 in 3 weeks. I don't know how to feel about this....
I look at her and feel beyond blessed to be her mom, how is it possible I had a life before her or that I was content? Life just doesn't seem right without her in it. She is getting so BIG, my daughter is a giant in comparison with 4 other 11 month olds we know, anyone know a good book I can weigh on her head to stop her?
 Sorry, just had a moment  since I just checked on her sleeping and got one of those "Ah-ha!" moments.

My sister, Desiree arrived from NC yesterday and is here until the 5th. I am soooo happy she is here. With all the stress and just all around junk going on in my life right now I needed someone and now, she's here. Plus, she gets some good Avery time in which she needs. So far we have gone book shopping and seen New Moon and Blind Side and that's in just two days! I love it when she is here.

So, since she is here I plan on not using her computer as much and getting some much needed family time in. So before I lose touch too much I wanted to share my THANKFUL list.


  • My family- for all the stress, drama and craziness they give me I am Thankful to have them in my life.
  • My friends- for the ones who have come and gone in my life to the new ones I have met this year, there is a purpose for every friendship and this year has by far given me the most important friendships I think I will need in my life.
  • My health- having Avery at the very end of the year meant that I started this year at an all time low weight wise and gained more confidence in myself which has set off a healthy trend in my diet and way of living. I have several friends with health issues and I know I have taken my health for granted because I never paid much attention to it until this year.
  • Our Troops- to willingly be away from their friends and family so that we can have the freedoms we have is truly a thing to respect and honor, I know there are people with other opinions on this topic but I am Thankful to all of them.
  • My faith- God is truly a generous giver to me this year, the blessings I have had are at times over whelming for me to process and scary to think of at others due to how crazy my year has been but I know it's all thanks to his love and forgiveness for me. I have seen things differently with the situations handed to me and I am stronger and more grateful because of them.
  • Evan-.....the past 3 months have been scary for us. Probably the scariest yet in our marriage but we're still fighting for it. I love you, I do not say it enough and for that, I am sorry. I am Thankful for your love, support, your faith and dedication to us and Avery. You're still my best friend and even though things are rough right now, I know we'll get through it.
  • Avery- You are by far the brightest light in my life. The blessings you give me are daily and in the simplest forms; your smiles, your giggles, your kisses and sweet hugs fill my heart with more love and joy a person can think of. Watching you grow up is crazy to me, you're so smart. I have prayed for you since I was a little girl and yet, I never realized how lucky I would get with you as my baby. You make me happy and proud and I feel so complete with you.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


  1. Our Macbook is sick and we might have to put it down! I'm kinda freaking out about losing ALL our pictures from 2007-present plus our 1800 songs on iTunes. Yeah, not cool.

  1. Didn't get the job HOWEVER, they are waiting for me to get my GED, update my application then come January.....I may have a position waiting for me!!! He said my background was not his concern, he thinks I'm a great fit for the district. GAH!

  1. Marriage Drama is a private matter but please, pray for Evan and I.

  1. Getting LOTS of community service hours in, thus making my life with no internet more survivable.

  1. My kids are making it hard to imagine finding another job but I have to. Why do they have to be so sweet and fun?

  1. The hunt for the perfect rent house has begun and I am falling in love with Denton everytime we go driving around for a house. I can't wait to be home.

  1. Thanksgiving is going to be a hard one(for me). Avery's first one and all our family will be spread out and not together for the first time in 4 years! I thought my sister was flying in so we made plans to be with my side of the fam and now she isn't coming and others in MY family are bailing out on the plan but Evan and I already commited. We could be going to MO with his mom and dad and would be only 2 hours from our dear friends the Dansby's but no....ARGH.

  1. They are all labeled one on purpose. :P

Friday, November 6, 2009

Procrastination and Fear get you NOWHERE.

Today I got hit in the face with the biggest feeling of FAILURE. Which, then lead to a 3 hour pity-party where I bawled my eyes out and then got mad at myself. YAY for fridays.

So, I had my interview today. I thought it went . . .okay. It lasted less than 15 minutes and by the time I got back in my car I kept saying to myself (because, yes, I do talk to myself) "10 minute interview? No good, way to waste their time." I then analyzed all the questions they had asked me and all my answers to see if there was a reason it was so short..I know, lame.

Then the most bizzare thing happened around 3pm (a whopping 4 hours after my interview). The HR rep, called to offer me the job........


He went on a list reading of all the benefits with the job..the pay, the insurance, the hours, the holidays, etc. Then he talked about the ONE thing I figured would cost me the job...background check. I have no problems with them doing the background check, I'm very open with being on Deferred Adjudification, especially since it was almost 4 years ago and it was a misdemeanor and not a crime like drugs, drinking or anything involving children. I'm not a threat to anyone and all I lack is 86 hours of community service before it's esponged off my record..still though, it has cost me several job oppourtunities and I understand where employers come from so hearing "Sorry, no." no longer hurts me like it used to when it comes to not getting a job because of that.


He also asked for a diploma. *Cue failure*

I still have yet to go get my GED. I know, I know. This should have been done years ago! I have paid for 3 tests and just bailed on them due to my fear of not passing. I posted on here just a few months ago about doing it for Avery because I owed her a better life than I had and I signed up for classes but when I went to the first one, I was the oldest there and it literally made me sick to my stomach so I left.

I can't do this anymore. This is the best job I have EVER been offered and I may not get it because of what? Excuses and nerves? I'm smarter than that! I deserve this job, I deserve to have this kind of income and not to mention, I want it badly.

So, I called them back. Explained that I planned on taking the test for my GED within the next 3 weeks and was concerned about the background check ruling me out anyways and asked them what they thought I should do.

He told me to call him monday at 9:30 but before then to go online and fill out an official application and be very detailed on my Deferred Adjudification. He also said he had asked me in our earlier conversation if I wanted "time to think about taking the job" and said he could also give me 2 weeks to put in my notice at MDO. So my plan is this....

Tomorrow morning I am enrolling in an online school that is accredited and will help me get my GED/ High school diploma in 2-6 weeks (I'm aiming for 2). Even if I don't get this job I will re-apply for another clerical job with the ISD come January. If for some reason my background check passes through, I will then ask for 2 weeks to "think about the job offer" while I BUST MY BUTT getting my GED. If my background check does not go through then I will thank them for their time and offer and still work on getting my GED in a few weeks and then work on my hours so this can be esponged faster than my game plan now. It's a start and even if the job is out I WILL have my GED before Christmas!

I do not want to sound whiny, I know why I am in this mess. I know I have nobody to blame but myself but it's just so saddening to think I could have this job if I had only just taken the test in June! Then I get frustrated and remind myself it's the least worry because it can be fixed by taking a test....the background check has stopped me from getting 6 jobs in the past  3 months alone.

6 jobs, countless offers and for ONE bad judgement call I made 4 years ago. Hardly seems fair considering there are real crooks out there working the system and not getting into trouble or even probation for things like DUI's and Child Molesting but I got 4 years deffered for "Refund fraud" in which I was unaware I was doing it to begin with until I was called to court for  the managers trial.... 5 months after I left Home Depot for a better job!


Yeah, not cool and yet I have been gracious, I have cooperated, I have paid my fine and am in the middle of doing my community service to get this nightmare over with.

Society is slighty...well more than slightly askew when it comes to how it's laws are dictated and passed for people. I hate having to introduce myself to potential employers and then get offered a job only to have to go to them and say "By the way, if you do a BGC on me, it's says I'm a criminal but I'm really not and hope you'll give me a shot at your business." Not just employers to mind you, but this whole trying to move to Denton is being hindered because Realtors want to do BGC on us and when they see my "fraud" from 2006 we're instantly denied! Landlords and apartment complexes (ones worth wanting to live at anyway) don't take people with any BG in theft which fraud is under in the state of TX.

Can't I just get a break, I mean, a good one? This one was good and I am THANKFUL that God is with us and trying to get me where I need to be but to get my hopes up only to have a negative end result wears on ones heart and faith a little.

*sigh* Over and out.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Let Grace be enough.

Our Fam-Fam on Halloween.

Halloween was a hit. Avery's costume survived our church's Fall Festival and received a lot of compliments. I think next year she'll go as something easy like a ballerina or a ghost though, I'm crafty but not when it comes to sewing/ costume making.

Avery if currently fighting off  a double ear infection and a bizarre bacterial infection and I am past the point of sick of it. I hate watching her be so miserable, worse, she is on 2 heavy antibiotics and they take a lot out of her little body. Plus side? She's been sleeping through the night 2 nights in a row.

Evan took on a overtime project and has been working on top of his day hours from 10pm-4am! Needless to say we have not seen much of daddy this week. Tonight's the last night though and tomorrow Avery and I get to leave Denton for a change and sleep at home!! I must say to all those single parents out there, BLESS YOU. It is not a easy task at all to raise a child single handed and I am beyond exhausted this week from  doing it all. At least his paycheck next week will be amazing.

Okay, I want to share something on here that I can't on FB or Myspace.....quite exciting and I need some prayer warriors on my side.

I received a call this morning from a church family member who watched Avery for me Sunday night. I didn't think anything of it when I answered because I assumed it would be about Avery. She didn't have any small talk after I said Hello instead, she asked me "Would you like a job?" in which I said "Uh...sure, I'm looking for a second job." She then proceeded to tell me how a position has been open for several months at the ISD building that should have been filled a long time ago and how she went to the head women and told her about me and pulled some strings and if I send her my resume I have an interview friday at 11am.

Yeah, just like that...just come in on friday at 11am and do an interview.

I'm still a bit flabbergasted. See, I have been praying for a job to help us out because as much as I adore my kids and LOVE my job at MDO, it's not covering anything financially! I took the job at MDO because after 4 months of no news I just couldn't sit at home another day doing nothing besides circling want ads that frankly, were beneath me and my skills. I committed to MDO because I knew we wanted to move to Denton and it would be a great place for Avery to go....I never knew I would fall in love with it so fast and be so determined to get my kids to know the love of Jesus along with their numbers and alphabet. Yet, I am a firm believer in answered prayers and signs that God gives us to help re-direct us to his path for our lives and this REALLY seems like on of those signs.

IF and I say IF in a major way here...IF I were to get this job it would seal the deal on not only moving back to Denton come January, it would improve our hunting because we can afford more rent. It could secure a babysitter who could actually take care of Avery and yet, she could still go to MDO on Tues. and Thurs. It would mean benefits for me, less driving, and all around happiness in our home.

I also feel sick to my stomach when I think about the teachers and kids....if I get this job it means no more MDO. No more kids. It's full time and all year round. I just hit the one month mark teaching there and committed to Shelly that it would be a more longer term and we're already under staffed so if I got this job I would be hurting them even more and to me that seems selfish but I have to think of Avery and Evan and what's good for our family.

Ugh, such a hard choice and there's no promise of anything really happening on friday besides a job interview taking place...which is why I have not mentioned it on FB due to the other teachers and Shelly being friends I don't want anyone thinking I'm bailing for no reason.

YIKES, just looked at the clock and it's 2am! BED TIME FOR ME.
I'll leave you with a pic of Avery from today after we bought her new winter clothes we had a mini-fashion show and this was my fave outfit.

She's so cute.

Hard to believe in 44 days she'll be 1!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Revelations and Tears

This week has BY FAR been one for the books in the land of parenthood. I doubt Evan and I have cried as many tears, hugged as many hugs or slept as minimal as...well, scratch the last one, we survived those first months on barely any...

Needless to say it's been a rough week but today, we got answered prayers!

I took Avery to her 9 month check up on Wed. and was excited that it was the one check up where she wouldn't have any shots, I even told her in the waiting room how happy mommy was to not have to see her get those mean ol' shots today.

Next time, I'll hold my tongue.

During her 9 month check up her doctor was concerned with some things...Averys pigmentation in her gums and skin were a bit too pale to his liking and her weight is under the average for her age and she had several bruises on her legs that even though she's trying to walk and is falling a lot he was not liking how many small ones there with that we were sent to the lab where they took lots of blood, plasma and did a swab to check for infections and everything from A-Z! 

They were mainly looking for something in all her cell counts both red and white.

Her doctor threw a lot of scenarios out to us and gave us information on all things that could be possibilities(anemia,diabetes,vitamin deficiency, leukimia, lymphoma we heard it all!) while trying to reassure us that this is just a precaution and they haven't diagnosed her with anything and hope not too!

We had to wait for results by FRIDAY. FRIDAY. As in 2 whole days of anxiety and stress and fear and lots and lots of prayer. She does have a small bacterial infection that a cream will fix and an ear infection thanks to cutting two teeth this weekend. Poor girl was just having a rough week but remains a smiley, happy baby!

Evan and I were kinda hit by a bus so to speak...our baby, our daughter, who we cherish and can hardly believe is almost 1 showed no symptoms to us of being ill and now, we're being told she's being checked for cancer? A simple check up turned into the most terrifying moment of my short time in mommyhood. Worse, we were reminded in a not so easy way that Avery is human. She is fragile and she can bleed and be sick and although God has a plan for her and is in total control, we're not given a timeline of her life. Every day is a treasure.

All the stress, emotions, fear, confusion and all over a "Precautionary run down."

So today as I was being distracted by the never-ending chore of laundry her pediatrician called me with the results. The great news was she didn't have leukemia or lymphoma, no cancers at all! The bad news, she does have Anemia and a vitamin deficiency. On top of the anemia and vitamin deficiency he said her red blood count was abnormally low and more alarming was that even though she is fighting 3 infections right now her white blood cell count wasn't elevated to show her body fighting them off..which means something isn't on track. Her body is playing catch up on a number of levels and he is worried that if she were to get sick right now, how would her body handle it? Yeah, with H1N1 and the flu at a pandemic level that's what I needed to hear! But, I'll take my blessings.

So, our plan of action? We go back monday for another blood work up but instead of waiting we'll have results within the hour. We'll go over a list of diet changes and supplements she will be put on until her 1 year check up in 8 weeks to see if anything changes. We attack the anemia with vitamin C. There are 3 types of anemia and luckily hers is most common with infants and children that is not permanent. If at her 1 year check up things haven't changed then we go see a specialist but, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. We also go back in 4 weeks to get the H1N1 shot since he put her on the list to get one (yay, more shots).

They don't warn you in any parenting books about moments like these. Thank God for the power of prayer and a army of friends and family. I thank you all so much for the calls, texts, prayers and distractions. It's overwhelming to know how loved we are.

Much Love-Britt

Friday, October 23, 2009

yeah, I have a sense of humor.

This little my new best friend.

After using it yesterday I woke up with only a headache, everything else was gone and I feel so much better! Just in time for our trip to Odessa tomorrow too. I'm not big on nose stuff but I bit the bullet on this one and think I will have some on hand the rest of the flu season just in case..

I'm also kinda thinking about doing something like this Naughty or Nice? for Evan as a Christmas/Anniversary gift. A friend of mine in California had these done and I LOVE them. I'm not the skinniest girl or prettiest girl but I think there is something in pictures like these that make EVERY woman feel confident and sexy and just for her hubby, I doubt Evan would complain. :P Although, if I were to get something like them done they would be classy and I would be covered up more rather then wearing 2 band-aids and a patch of fabric...I've had a baby and I happen to be built like a real, natural, WOMAN.

What do you ladies think?

I leave you with a few more pictures of the's what I do.

10 months old and I look like my daddy.

Miss center of attention much?

Mama Bear & Baby Bear


Thursday, October 22, 2009

Am I dying?!

Ugh. I feel like I'm dying.

I do not get sick, seriously. I get sick maybe once or twice a year so yesterday when I started feeling achy, I ignored it, that was until I woke up at 2am in a sweat and thought my head was going to explode. I have no fever but I have a headache, sinus pressure, achey all over, chills, sore throat and a slight cough. Just all around BLAH.

I called into work and Nan who is the BIGGEST blessing, took Avery to MDO so I could have 6 hours of peace and quiet. I stayed in bed until 1pm then moved to the couch. Evan took off work and came to Denton to let me be baby free and I've taken a lot of meds to get me back on my feet. I hope this isn't the flu. I've had 2 of my kiddos out with it and the LAST thing I want to do is get Avery sick.

Wash your hands people, wash your hands.

Tuesday, our sweet friends Alanna and Brent finally had their baby girl. Marin Danette Powell was born at 10:41am weighing in at 8lbs 6oz and I am now seriously in "Baby Envy", we're not ready for another one just yet but man, how I forgot how small and sweet they are...

The new happy family!

She's so precious!

I think she looks like her mama.

Evan and I are offically going to move back to Denton at the beginning of the new year. I am so excited yet I am also praying we can find a rent house in our range and with the things we want all in a nice neighborhood.

What we want:

  1. A fenced yard.
  2. a slab foundation
  3. good water pressure and hot water.
  4. a huge bathtub.
  5. something in the 700$/month range
  6. 2-3 bedrooms
  7. NO paneled walls.
  8. NO crazy neighbors.
  9. NO side streets!
  10. Pet friendly.
Think that can be found? If so, let us know! We're not looking to buy since we may be going outside of Texas when Evan goes to Grad School (whenever that may be). Plus, we don't want a company realtor for a landlord we'd rather have a private landlord like a family renting an old house for extra money or something.

*sigh* I'm going back to bed. Hope you guys are doing well...seems like everyone is too busy to blog lately.


Monday, October 19, 2009

Changes.....stink at times.

Still Alive.

I've been emotional all weekend. Evan said it's almost like a death in the family except we know our friends are alive and well and we'll see them soon. Hope you enjoy finding new places to love in KC. Happy First day at your new job too Therese!

Update coming soon. For now, a few recent pics of the cuteness. We took her in her costume to a local Pumpkin Patch along with Gary, Nicole and my Nephew Chevy-Ray (Ray). Avery LOVED it as did we all, definetly a new tradition!

She's 10 months old today. Wow.


Avery @ The Pumpkin Patch 10-17-09

Our Fam-Fam Minus Paris & Gus

I Love My Nephew.

Ridiculous, Right? It's Illegal To Be So Cute.


Friday, October 2, 2009

Prayers Work.

Seems like it's been forever since I last posted but it's only been a few days! Weird. Maybe because my comments have been very non-exsistant I feel like I am just no longer interesting enough to keep you followers entertained.....

SO. I have failed to inform you that I am no longer UNEMPLOYED.

*happy dance* Indeed, all your prayers worked and after 5 months of despair and trials and tribulations I am now working not one but TWO jobs and because of which some things are going to be happening in a big way for the Hartfield clan.

I'm now teaching Pre-K at my church's MDO program (Mother's Day Out). I have my own classroom, 8 lovoly 4 year olds and a huge responsibility of planning out the lessons for the week with a curriculum that frightens me! I'm sure once I get my routine down and they get used to me it'll be a blast but until then, this huge 4inch binder is intimidating and I feel like the new kid in class that everyone ignores...

I love shopping for my class though which is EXPENSIVE but I feel so cool. I feel like I am doing something good too. I get to teach the love of Jesus Christ into the lives of children before they enter School where Jesus isn't accepted as he should be (my opinion). Avery will start in January so she'll be just a few doors down from me which I am going to L-O-V-E.

I now work in Denton 3 days a week and the commute is not so bad. However, I may need to find another part time job and Evan has already declared that come March we are moving back to Denton. YEAH! We're moving back to Denton 2 years sooner than planned!!!!! I am so happy about this. (can't you tell?) Just makes more sense. Our families are in Denton, 90% of our friends are in Denton, our Church is in Denton, and we want to raise Avery in a town like Denton (nothing against Fort Worth). Funny, I always wanted to leave Denton but now I want to be back there! I doubt it's where God wants us to stay permanent but the thought of living out of state has never crossed my mind and another option for Evan after he gets his bachelor's degree has brought up possibilities of Japan or even Germany!? Still about 2 years off (or sooner) but still, lots of praying between us on God's direction.

I have lots of cleaning to do before we get our new TV, Dining Table and Couch tomorrow (gotta love hand me downs!). So I'll close for now. Hope you all are enjoying the fall weather and that God is blessing each of you.


Monday, September 28, 2009

It Starts....

I have officially begun my planning for Avery's 1st birthday party......

I have 12 weeks before the event but am already making lists and making budgets and figuring out what to have there in case of any situation. Have I mentioned the guest list as of now is around 100?! Yeah, I'm aware over 50% will not come due to Christmas being 6 days beforehand as well as those scared of children and that I am inviting people out of state whom I wish could be with us but know they will not travel so far just for cupcakes and games.

I feel like one of those over the top parents that I make fun of....HA!

Wanna see what I have so far? Check this out......
Averys Party Set Up 

Avery's Birthday Outfit

See what I mean?!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

KC Trip. (un-spell check or grammar proofed)

I must say first that I was suprised by how some people took the news that I was leaving Avery with Evan alone for 5 days.....

A- He's her dad, why shouldn't I leave her with him?
B- Last I checked, I still had a life. Since when does having a baby mean I give up all social aspects?
C- I offered to take her with me but was told "NO". I also said I didn't have to go but Evan was very firm that I get out of town for a while and un-wind from all the stress I've been dealing with.

Just saying, some people can come off way offensive about how I parent MY child and although I know they mean no harm, it seriously IRKS me.

It was a rough week for Evan from M-Wed but he even told me he now realizes how under appreciated I am and how he never gets the chance to be the daddy he wants to be with Avery and due to the series of events with me being gone he HAD to be just that and he LOVED it. Since I've been back he's been more hands on and not so ....timid of Avery, not that he was before, Evan is a WONDERFUL daddy but now it's just more...balanced?

 Therese and I head out to KC, MO to stay with her aunt while she finds and apartment. It rained from Fort Worth until we got to Coffeyville, KS. Yeah. The whole time we were in "Craplahoma" it was pouring rain and we were surrounded by semis who didn't quite grasp how to not speed in the bad weather so it was an adventure. We arrived around 9pm and just had cereal before going up the the attic and crashing. FYI- Her aunts house was HUGE and had lots of stairs.

We got up around 6:30 and got ready to head to Shawnee Mission Park for the 5k. There were deer everywhere! Literally around the parking lot, the park and all over the trail we walked/run and they were not timid and apparently they had a deer hunt in May due to how bad the population has gotten but by the looks of it, they failed. Also turns out the website I got for the cancer 5k I thought we were doing wasn't it at all! The 5k we did was for St. Lukes Midwest Ear Institute. Proceeds will benefit the "Ears That Hear" Fund, which provides financial assistance for low income or non-insured patients in need of hearing aids. Wonderful cause and I met a lot of wonderful people who are trying to educate on Hearing loss and deaf education. I did the 5k in 55:08!!! I must say I had my doubts since I have never done anything like that before and now......

I'm Hooked.

I'm starting to train for running and plan on doing a few more 5k's before next spring where Therese and I plan on doing the Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure". My goal is that this time next year I can seriously think about doing the Breast Cancer 3-day as well as partake in andy Marathons dealing with Deaf Education and Hearing Loss.

After the 5k we headed back to Therese's aunts house and got ready for mass. Again, something I have never done before and as it turned out it was the Church's Centinial Celebration and was in her familys opinion the best time for me to check out a catholic church. I thought it was funny that her family was unaware of this and wore bright colors...except me, who along with 80% of the congregation wore WHITE. They kinda stuck out and I joked about getting the memo on wearing white. It was a beautiful church and beautiful mass.

After mass we went to the plaza and ate at Kona Grill. Best SUSHI!!! It was fun just Therese, her mom, aunt and myself, sipping mimosa's (another first) and enjoying the outside dining. It was a neat place and if you're ever in KC I highly recommend it. The plaza is such a cool place.

From there I packed up and Therese and I headed to her friends wedding shower, in the end I had her drop me off at Barnes and Noble since I didn't want to be rude and go to a shower that I didn't know the Bride to be. I LOVED it, I checked out the entire Childrens section and fell in love with some books for Avery. After Therese apologized a million times we headed to St. Joseph, MO and waited on Evans aunt Holly and her kids Anthony and Arianna. They live in Grant City which is 6 miles south of the Iowa border and part of the trip I was going to stay with them since I hadn't seen them in over a year. It was dark when we got back to their place so I couldn't see anything or the area I was in. My GPS was off the entire trip.

Monday & Tuesday-
I did absolutly NOTHING and it was GREAT. Holly and Brent took me to Annadale which was the next town over (Population:54) and we had lunch at the towns only Cafe. This little bitty hole in the wall, mom and pop cafe that I am in love with now. The food was ridiculously wonderful and the atmosphere was so laid back and social. Seemed like everyone knew each other and the whole town had lunch there.

Monday night I joined Holly in her Womens Bible Study which was very refreshing. See, Evans Uncle, Brent, is the Pastor of First Baptist Church of Grant City and the Parsonage that they live in is next to the church so we would walk over and enjoy the wonderful weather and the view (LOTS OF HILLS AND FARMS). I liked the study and it was nice to meet some of the women from town.

Anthony and Arianna have grown up so much! I miss hearing their goofy laughs already. Although one conversation with them Monday has me convinced I need to go on a diet....hooray for Childhood innocense and blunt honesty.

 Brent took me back the hour and forty-five minute drive to meet Therese that evening where I said my goodbyes. Therese had spent time with her mom and aunt and found and signed the lease on an apartment in Mission, KS which is next to Shawnee Mission, KS where we had the 5k. So all in all the trip was a success. We made it back to KS in time for dinner where we parked at the plaza and walked a few blocks to the BIGGEST Panera Bread I have ever been in. Dinner was great and we talked for a long time before realizing we were both sore and tired and more than ready to head back to Tx.

We headed back to her aunts and packed up our stuff and both went to bed by 10pm!

 We got up around 8:30, had breakfast with her uncle charlie and then loaded up the truck and headed back to TX. We were on the road by 9am, and took the more direct route back home. Weather was great until we got to OKC and then the rain started up again. Something about "craplahoma" and the rain just made it not the best parts of the entire trip for us.

We got back to Fort Worth by 5pm.

Top Quotes of the trip:
Therese: "I'm going to pretend that wasn't a turtle I just hit"-Day 1

Therese: "OH! I just saw a turtle, he was on the shoulder so hopefully he'll turn around and stay alive...I can't think of the other alternative."-Day 5 after I asked her where she wanted to stop for lunch...

Brittnye- "DEER! There are the park....and people too!" Therese's Aunt: "You don't get out much, do you?"- Day 2 as we entered Shawnee Mission Park

Holly- "Is it bad that I know all the words to Coconut Pirate thanks to FB stalking you so badly?" Brittnye- "No, I kinda feel warm and fuzzy to have so many stalkers" Arianna-"Grown ups are weird."- Random conversation Day 4.

Arianna- "When do we get to see Avery?" Brittnye-"Soon, I hope!" Anthony-"You mean you can have her here?!" Brittnye- (after a brief moment of confusion)"You mean I can bring her here, yes, I can" Arianna-"After you have her?" Brittnye-"After? I already had her she's 9 months old now" Anthony-(while scratching his head)"Then you're going to have another baby?" Brittnye-"I don't like where this is going?"

All in all it was a great trip and it was much needed. I caught up on sleep and was super active so it went by fast. I missed Avery like crazy too and apparently she missed me as well. I'll get the few (sad face) pictures I took and post them up asap. I probably took 5 pictures the entire trip which is so NOT me.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

This gave me chills.

Click that link. Listen. Enjoy.

Auto Tune the news is a fave of mine thanks to Evans aunt Holly off You Tube and I came across their Auto-Tune of MLK's famous speech and it literally brought chills and tears. I will never view this moment the same ever again.

Avery is everywhere tonight so I will post about my trip to MO. later tonight. 5 days away from my girl was rough but now I am playing catch up with her.

Friday, September 11, 2009

My! My foot is tasty!

You ever find yourself in a situation where you tell someone you're into something or you like something yet you have no real idea what it is or you actually have never tried it or done it before and then suddenly they invite you to do it with them?!

Yeah, totally happening to me Sunday......

What may it be you wonder? Well, I'm doing my first 5k run/walk! Yep. I have done 2 of them in the past. When I say past I mean HS where I volunteered in one (didn't participate) and the other where I did finish but I couldn't feel my legs for 8 hours.

I'm leaving in the morning to KC for a few days with my dear friend Therese....
Therese and her husband, Ross are moving to KC in October (insert sad face here). Ross is going to grad school for Architecture at KU so they are packing up and moving there. The whole trip is mainly to help Therese find a suitable apartment and for me to unwind and just get away from all the stress I've been dealing with lately. Sounds like a plan to me!
Therese has family in KC that we are staying with and her family is really into much so that they signed us both up for a 5k on Sunday to  bring awareness to Pancreatic and Prostate Cancer. I'm all for this cause, actually, any dealing with Cancer but a 5k?! So soon? *gulp*
Therese and I have been going walking and jogging once a week for the past month and I love it! I used to go running back in my before I had a baby days. I take Avery with me in her stroller and she loves it too! So when Therese and I went last week and she kept asking about if I liked doing marathons or charatble walks/ runs I told her I did and that I have even wanted to do the Breast Cancer 3 day last year but found out a month after I signed up that I was pregnant with Avery and stopped training.
So tonight as she called to ask me for the millionth time if I was still going with her to KC she nonchalantly brought up that her aunt signed us up for the 5k on Sunday and to make sure I brought running shoes.

I plan on taking pictures of the outcome. I feel so unprepared and am fearing that I make an utter fool out of myself in front of Therese and her family!! OY! Wish me luck.

I'm also joining her family to their church too. She's Catholic and I have never been to a mass before. I've been to a Greek Orthodox church with an Ex and they didn't speak english yet alone speak the mass, they sung it! If I can survive that I think I'm good to go on sitting in a mass for my first time. I'm actually looking forward to this trip on so many levels because of all the new things I'm about to experience.

I'll update you ladies and gents with pictures and stories when I get back. For now, I'll leave you with some Avery pics. We took her to Eureka Park where Evan and I go walking but this time we let her try out the actual playground for the first time and she looooved the swing....My baby is getting so big!

My New Fave.

First time on a swing and she LOVED it.

Off she goes...


Monday, September 7, 2009

Picture Post.

She was too cute not to photograph this morning before church....
Smiley Girl.
Sometimes I wonder what she's thinking about when she goes deep in thought...

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Never Alone.

The weather here the past few days has been showers on and off and I am loving it. Today, it's beautiful and 89, I think Avery said she wanted to go to the park.. ;P

So yesterday I was in Denton and had to drive back to Fort Worth for a potential job opportunity. I was very anxious and nervous since I have been hearing "NO" more than I'd like to hear the past 3 months. The entire time I was driving in morning traffic I was behind a storm and was catching the rain on and off. I was praying to God and just laying things from my heart to his ears when I turned on the radio and the chorus to Casting Crowns "Praise you in this storm" came blaring on....

I was sure by now,
God, that You would have reached down 
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm 

 It caught be off guard when the lyrics sunk in for me and I just started crying. Yep, I've been doing a lot of that lately too but this was different. How silly I am being lately for feeling alone and defeated over this job junk. That one song just changed my attitude over a lot of things I am juggling these days. If that wasn't a sign, I don't know what is.

Then the next song came on.... "Never Alone" by Barlow Girl. This is now a favorite of mine and if I ever got the guts to sing at church I would love to sing this with some of the other talented ladies at church. It literally gives me goosebumps. I just heard it again and told Evan about my commute yesterday and how these 2 songs have made me realize I wasn't doing my job as a christian, I forgot who is in charge and who has never failed me yet.

I waited for you today
But You didn't show
I needed You today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
you said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply and
I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone.

And though I can not see You
and I can't explain why.
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life oh
We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
and though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

We cannot separate
You're part of me
and though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
and I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

Just wanted to share this with you. Hope your all having a GREAT 3 day weekend.


Thursday, September 3, 2009

I'm excited about this...

I started a new blog.

Yeah I know, I haven't been doing so well with this one due to my funky mood lately but I promise I will keep up with both and I think you Ladies (and special Gents) will like my new blog!

Check it out.

Some new pics of late....
This is how our Sweet Munchkin greets daddy everyday when he comes in from work, I swear, her and the cats have an internal clock, they know when he comes home....

She can say Da-Da now too which has made Evan beyond happy. Her vocab is now "Mama","Baba","Da-da","uh oh","Hi" and "KiKi" which is what she says when she sees Gus haha.
Good ol' Censor Duck to the rescue..... She loves bath time but is too big for her bath and when we tried the Tub she just slipped every which way to Evans panic hahaha.
Indeed, she is.

Have a great Labor Day weekend!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I have been in such a funk lately, I just don't feel like blogging.

Lame I know, I apologize, I'm just down in the pits lately. Definetly not fun to be around these days and I am getting aware of this so maybe I can snap out of it. I don't know if I would even get out of bed if it wasn't for Avery. How ridiculously blessed I am to have her and Evan!

Things/Happenings of late:
* Chopped off 5 inches and added bangs today, so far nobody has noticed.....hmmm
* Avery had her first official boo-boo thanks to the corner of the coffee table, busted her lip up pretty bad, worse, she tripped over my foot. OIY! Corner protectors will be in place this week!
* Possibly finding a job SOON. (I have some remarkable friends looking out for me)
*New phones and new carrier. SO LONG SPRINT YOU DEVIL.
* Taking Avery to the Denton Fair tomorrow and am ubber excited.
* Getting Antsy about our trip to OH, can we do this financially? yes, if I can plan this out to the last penny. less than a month to go.
* My car may be ready by this week!!!
* Insomnia, day 6 ugh.
* My little friend is now 15 days delayed, stressed much? Took a test it was negative, no shocker there, still though.....
* New Addiction: Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman!


Saturday, August 15, 2009

I have been a crummy blogger. I apologize.

Things have been so crazy around here and this past week was one I know my family would much soon forget. To sum it up in the words of my MIL "The bombs keep dropping." Nothing good happened for a lot of us, lots of things up in the air, lots of heartache, lots of negative blah-ness in general and I would much rather it go away all together. However, it's nothing we can't overcome together. Nothing we know God won't provide for. Just very trying times.

With that said, please, keep my family in your prayers. I don't seem to have the words for comfort or strength it seems and well, wisdom seems scarce with me these days (I'll blame lack of sleep).

What else.....hmm.

I'm still looking for a job. I've decided to no longer get disheartened about this. I know there is a job out there for me and I know I won't be unemployed forever. 3 months is just a long time when you think about it. I put in at least 2 applications a day, I call, I apply online, I've signed up for every website known to man and still...NOTHING. I enjoy the time with Avery I'm getting out of it and I'm getting my community service hours done faster than I planned (not complaining). Still, though. I feel so guilty and like such a failure sometimes when I see how stressed Evan is over being the only one bringing in money for us. He's not going to school this semester due to our finances and that is my biggest guilt. HE's close to getting his bachelors and now because of me he is being set back yet again.

We are still going to Ohio in Sept. We'll be driving with Avery, that's 17 hours in the car!!!! I think we may stop in TN or KY for a night and then go on to OH. We're going for a wedding for some amazing friends who are totally worth the drive. I'm working for my mom on fridays for some extra money to use for the trip. We'll be gone the 23rd-29th so please pray for us about this, it may not be the best thing right now in our financial situation but we can pull it off with some good planning. I think we're talking about heading out around 7pm so that way we can drive all night and it won't effect Avery since she'll be asleep anyway and it will minimize stops if you know what I mean. Any tips? Any advice?

Avery is thriving. She now has THREE chompers that she loves to show us by nibbling on our fingers or drooling excessively on our hands. She is a speed crawler and can stand up on her own and pull herself up against things. I was walking by 10 months, Evan and I think Avery will try to be walking by 9! She turns 8 months this week which is hard to believe. I say that every month though I know. Her hair is also coming in rather fast now, it's a strawberry blonde though which has me worried, I so hope she doesn't take after her aunt Jackye and uncle Jonathon and go with the red hair. Anything but red.

I've been looking up themes for her birthday party (yes, we're starting to plan it). Her theme is Hello Kitty and I plan on having lots of cupcakes instead of cake.

I think this is a good entry for now, I'll post some new pictures next time. In the mean time I'm going to watch my new addiction; Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. This show is amazing and I want the entire series!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I think August 8th is always going to hit me hard, no matter how long it's been or how many children God blesses me with.
I know I am ridiculously Blessed with Evan and Avery and I know things happen for a reason. I got closure with our miscarriage shortly after I knew my pregnancy with Avery was safe but just like last August 8th it's like this switch is flipped and my mind just races with all those "what If" questions and thoughts of our Angel Baby.

Evan and I decided to make August 8th a secret celebration between us and our little one. Every August 8th we'll take a moment to wish our baby a Happy Birthday with Jesus and then let God know what we're Thankful for.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Interesting conversations

So I had a very weird interview this morning one that I'm sure will end up being yet another NO Thank You. I didn't want to go home and be sad again and decided to give myself a pick me up at the local Panera Bread next to the Fort Worth zoo where I currently still am sitting using the free wi-fi with no guilt. I've been here maybe an hour now and just had my day made by the ladies at a nearby table talking about ME.

Here's what was said:
Lady #1: This was a great idea, this is the biggest panera I've been to.
Lady#2: I come here all the time it's always got a lot of people on laptops.
Lady#3: Like that girl beside us, looks like she's on that Facebook.
Lady#1 & #2: yeah she is.
Lady #4: What a beautiful baby picture!
Lady #1: No way that's hers, she looks too young.
Lady#3: Young, she has a tattoo on her foot! Can't be too young.
Lady #2: What is the tattoo of, I can't see it.
Lady #3: It looks like flowers or something, very exotic.
Lady #4: That has to be her baby, they both have pretty blue eyes.
Lady#1: Yes, she does have Pretty blue eyes.
(I turn and smile at them)
Lady #3: Is that YOUR baby on your laptop?
Me: Yes it is.
Lady #4: She's beautiful! How old is she?
Me: 7 Months, her name is Avery
Lady #2: You look too young to be a momma
Lady#3: She your first?
Me: Yes, my husband and I are very blessed with her.
Lady#2: I'm glad you said that, you looked kinda glum when we sat here and now you've perked up.
Lady#3: Lydia, what a rude thing to say, she looks wonderful with her cute outfit, slim figure and those eyes, not to mention a beautiful baby girl.......I bet your husband is a looker too.
Me: haha, I would like to think so, I married him!
Lady#3: See, she has the good life.

Yeah see, I have the good life.

haha, I must mention they were all over 60 and were boistrious haha my kind of ladies.

They went on to eat their meals and I went on to fiddle on the laptop, occasionally I would come up in conversation as if I couldn't hear them...they pretty much went over every article of clothing I had on down to my "Very beautiful" earrings. haha and it was all stating positive things about me.

I'm in such a good mood right now, just what I needed.

Sunday, August 2, 2009


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Not a real update

the title says it all. No update, I'm too tired today. Pics and LONG update coming soon, promise.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Patience is a VIRTUE.

Now with Avery crawling I seem to be moving with her 24/7. The child has endless energy!!! On top of the new Crawling chapter in her cute and short lived life, she is learning (Thanks to her daddy) how to pull herself up against furniture or even as I nearly had a heart attack discovering tonight....her crib and bassinet!

Time to lower some rails....

She moves so much, I feel like I am constantly saying "No" and "Avery Claire, get yourself back in this direction." at least a million times over in a 12 hour day. The perk? She is going to bed about 30-45 minutes earlier now and sleeping through the night!

7 months old as of a few hours from now. How can this be? Why is it every 4 weeks when another month comes up I am still in as much shock as the last month? My baby is growing too fast to my liking, she'll be walking and talking soon!

She's discovered so much the past 2 weeks, she has a huge interest in the kittos and poor Gus, she chases after him all the time only to pull his tail, smack him in the face or to pull his fur. I'm trying to teach her how to be "Gentle with Gus Gus" but she just squeels when she gets her hands on him. He is so sweet and gentle with her through all this abuse, he usually cries out and tries to get away from her but he has never once let a claw or tooth near her. I think he is the only one who can relate to my tiredness at the end of the day when we both collapse on the bed side by side and tell ourselves repeatedly that Patience is a virtue.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Picture Post.

Well, the Wedding was beautiful, my Dad looked handsome and Donna was Beautiful. My little sore throat has turned into a head cold so I will only post a few of my favorite pictures from the wedding for now.

Update soon. Promise.

-Brittnye Nephew!!! Chevy Ray Lusk, the cutest little 2 month old. Ever. I'm so in love with him.

My brothers Josh & Jonathon and of course Chevy.

Avery and Daddy getting ready for the Wedding.

 Avery and her "Pops" before the ceremony.

Our new expanded family!
From Left to right starting in the back row:
Jonathon, Chevy, Avery, Me, Mom, Jackye & Josh
Chancy, Donna, Dad & Erin.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


It's 4:30AM. I'm up, although it's my fault entirely since I slept all day yesterday after taking some Nyquil rather than Dayquil. I have been dealing with a very bad sore throat since Saturday night, a sore throat and nothing else, well, besides having no voice. Not sure what was the cause, I'm thinking the smoke from the fireworks considering it all started from after the fireworks. Meh.

So as usual I have a lot on my mind and have come to blog about it....nothing major to note, no drama in my life (always nice), just a lot processing right now.

You see...My dad is getting married today.

Yep, my dad, whom I have recently re-connected with and whom I have very few fond memories of is getting married today at 6pm. I'm very happy and excited for him and for Donna, my soon to be Step-mother. They have been together for almost 4 years, they just bought a house in Watauga about a month ago.

I. Adore. Her.

She puts up or rather HAS put up with a lot of Johns crap and yet she can handle him and she knows what she's marrying into with his past mistakes. Most importantly though, she has changed him.

He's a different human being since being with her. He's happy, he smiles, he laughs, he calls me weekly to check in on me and Avery, he's called my mom and is trying to patch things up between them after almost 5 years of not speaking to each other, he has a career, goals, plans in store all things the old John never did or had.

I went from seeing or talking to him maybe twice a year to now....once a week. whether it's a txt, a call or an invitation to have dinner. He wants to be in Avery's life, he loves Evan and constantly tells me how proud he is of me finding a man to be my husband since real men in my life were never around to set an example for me.(His words)

Besides getting Donna for my Step-mother, Avery gets a new grandmother as well as 2 new aunts and I get 2 new half sisters whom I really enjoy talking with. I have only met one of Donna's daughters, Chancy. The other one recently came back from New Zealand and lives in Amarillo now but will be here for the wedding and has already told Chancy she wants to have some one on one time with me. I'm very excited to meet her. They both are older than me (25,27) so it'll be great for Jackye to have more people to go to instead of me and Desi for advice.

Good things are happening and I finally feel like I have a family. Like the pieces are slowly getting back together... I'll post pictures soon. Evan is a groomsmen along with my baby brother Josh, Jonathon will be there too but declined the offer to be Johns best man, he needs more time and I understand that.

Patience is a virtue.

Alright! Well, I am going to post some 4Th of July/summer pictures up of Avery then go read some more off my reading list. I hope everyone is doing well and having a great Summer.

Check out her new floatie, she LOVES the pool now.

She loves the splash pool on her floatie more than being in the big pool

Happy 4th of July!

she watched the fireworks but didn't really care for them..
Avery and her God-Parents Kate & Nick


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