Isn't motherhood grand?!
The past 2 weeks have been interesting for me with a few realizations and eye opening "Ah-ha!" moments. I've learned in the past month that with having a second child you learn to just let things go easier. Things I now wish I had learned with Avery. Then again, we didn't have visitors in Fort Worth. Being back in Denton, we have visitors every week! That's not a complaint mind you, I love it. I love having this connection with so many amazing people and being 2-10min away from them at any given time. The support, help, social life and overall handy-ness of it is overwhelming at times whereas with Avery everyone was 30min away.
I've come to realize in the simplest of ways that some things just do not matter.
My house will be dirty occasionally but I'll clean it when it matters. I may not get to shower everyday (I've literally debated over a shower or extra sleep this week) or it may only be allowed around 2am but my hair will always be clean. Dishes will pile up, laundry too. I will no longer spaz out over it or get anxious with the thought of a unannounced visitor seeing my house not look like the cover of Better Homes. (Don't we all wish we could have homes look like that that are actually lived in?!) and here's why...
- I have 2 small children who need me more than the dirty dishes. They also grow up ridiculously fast and I refuse to miss out on special moments due to needing to vacuum for the millionth time a day.
- I have 2 cats that are indoor only and occasionally forget where their little box is.
- My couches are hand me downs, mix matched and falling apart due to also being the gymnastic course for the 4yr old.
- Don't even ask about my carpet, I've tried every remedy to remove those stains, they refuse to permanently die.
Life is so short. I used to scoff and laugh at people who would say that since it always seems most convenient after someone passes away to say that? But with Alyssa's birth...I'm afraid to blink. She is growing so quickly and it seems that now with her arrival and joining the family that Avery has decided to just become a little lady and is a different child from 2 months ago.
I'm so busy trying to be super woman that I'm missing out on the small memories, the little things that make it all so cherish-able. My camera has hardly been used!! Add to that how I'm becoming more aware that my free time from not nursing or comforting Alyssa I'm using to clean or pick up when Avery simply asks mommy to play with her and I have said no because of housework. Seriously!? I doubt I ever forget seeing out of the corner of my eye her shoulders slump and turn in the hallway to walk to her bedroom while whispering "mommy never plays with me" last week. My heart broke then and there in my dining room as I looked around the living room and kitchen and just stopped. Stopped letting the mundane and superficial garbage take priority over my girls, my free time and my memory making.
So here's to you freak of nature type a's out there.
Come see my dirty house, my messy appearance and shake your head as I run late to anything and everything. In the end, my children are healthy, happy and thriving and I'm more content and sated in bliss because of it all. Some things in life can wait. I can have that Better Homes house in 18 years.