Happy 5th Birthday!

Friends.......

I'm a bit in denial right now, I feel almost overwhelmed that it's already a week before Christmas. No, not because of Christmas itself. I've finished 80% of all that needs to be done. I think it's more that this year is almost over.

The past week has been pretty emotional for me, shocking news, 2 deaths, family drama and an epic ice storm can do that though. Add that in the middle of the peak emotional-ness I was in, we fostered a sweet cat who was recovering from having her leg amputated and my plate broke in half.

I'm doing better, I'm healing. Thanks to our new addition and Avery and Alyssa keeping me blissfully distracted it's easier to let the things I cannot and will not control just....go! Just in time for a new emotional round to hit me though.

Today, our sweet Alyssa Jane is 11 months old! 11, as in almost 12. In 4 very short weeks our baby will be ONE. My uterus can't handle that.

Even worse? This amazing not so little human being is 5 today!

I know, I know, process that for a few...

FIVE.

Half a decade. 

I recently wrote this in my prayer journal.."A year is no longer viewed as a long time to me. Measures of time are now seen with different memories as time stamps. Blinks, days, quiet moments, happy tears, small achievements and somber tones to go with the sometimes overwhelming feeling of just being ridiculously blessed.

 How I wish I could capture so many moments and bottle them up for the girls to watch/witness when they are older."

So in keeping with my blog tradition:

Avery Claire-

 Today you are 5. Seems like yesterday your Aunt Desi was painting my toes and sharing in my joy and fear of heading to the hospital to have you. I love thinking back and reminiscing about all the struggles your pregnancy had. How truly insignificant they all seem now when at the time we were so fearful of the unknown and afraid to think we could lose you. As it was then, and continues to be now, God has great things planned for you.

 You are my joy. A bright light in our family that shines brighter everyday. You will never understand until you become a mother, just what you did to your daddy and I. We are eternally grateful for your birth because it brought with it such powerful revelations of what marriage is about. It showed us what love can create, just exactly who we are and how what we need to strive to be can easily be achieved when we put aside our personal needs and focus on others.

 You make me a better person. You make me laugh daily, cry from happiness and sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst from joy.

 You have the sweetest spirit, you are kind and joyful. Your sense of humor is ridiculous at times. You are a protective big sister who loves to make her sister laugh and encourages her daily.

 I could brag about you forever my sweet girl.

 Our prayer for you this year is that you continue to let your love of The Lord shine through. Stay joyful. Follow your heart and stay true to what it says to you. Play more, get a little dirty, wear more dresses (for your mom!). Sing no matter who may be listening. Make silly faces to express how you feel and most importantly... Know how much you are loved daily.

Every year will be a flood of emotions as we celebrate you. No matter how old you are.

Happy Birthday Bayboo,

We love you! (Mommy & Daddy)

Thankful: Days 19-30

Thanksgiving is done and December is upon us. I know I'm behind but I really want to finish my "Thankful" list. December will be busy enough.

Day 19: I'm Thankful for volunteering. I find it to be uplifting knowing that the time I donate at the shelter is benefiting the animals. Whether it's helping get them new forever homes or just loving on them to ease the stress of a scary environment. It calms me as well. Love my days at the shelter.

Day 20: I'm Thankful for Evans Job. I won't go into details but starting in January, Evan will be on day shift. Something we've patiently waited and prayed about for a year! We love his job and the company so having him go to days is going to be a added bonus on a number of levels.

Day 21: I'm Thankful for young cousins coming in and visiting from Georgia. The girls loved it too.

Day 22: I'm Thankful for Alyssa's naps. Those two precious quiet times during the day allow me to get stuff done and spend one on one time with Avery. My girls are growing up too fast and I'm finding my sweet moments with them are getting shorter. Replaced by new ones of course but the days of snuggles and cuddles and rocking little bodies to sleep is slowly fading. :(

Day 23: I'm Thankful for books. I know in this day and age people rely on nooks, kindles, iPhones and tablets. For me though,Going to a book store and buying an actual book with pages to flip through in a quiet place is bliss. There's that book smell too that goes along with the escape of a story. I just love it, call me old school.

Day 24: I'm Thankful for our home. I love this place and even though it's no longer fitting our needs and we won't be here but for another year or two, it's my favorite home so far. All the memories here and blessings we've been given since I took that wrong turn and found the dinky "for rent" sign  are priceless. I hope we can just find a bigger house still in this neighborhood.

Day 25: I'm Thankful for comfy pajamas and a cup of hot tea on a cold day.

Day 26: I'm Thankful for the last 13 years with this man. 

Yep, 13. Years. From friends in high school to soul mates. 3 years as friends, 2 as a couple and 8 in marriage. Plenty of Good times and bad. Good health, bad health, the births of our two girls and the sad loss of a baby now in heaven. 2 tiny apartments, a house in a ghetto and now back where it all began for us. Road trips and family vacations, a million inside jokes, countless movie marathons and a few jobs in between. I am beyond Thankful for all of it.

Day 27: After that last topic, I'm Thankful for all the memories.

Day 28: Happy Thanksgiving! I'm Thankful for this holiday; to cook great food and spend a day eating it with family and friends and unwinding from the busy-ness of day to day life.

Day 29: I'm Thankful that my family agrees with me that "Black Friday" is the stupidest thing America has invented.

Day 30: I'm Thankful for Christmas music and sharing the true reason of the season with Avery and Alyssa. Putting up decorations and spending more quality time with them as we make new memories to remember for the next years to come.

Thankful: Day 13-18

This month is zooming by! Less than 40 days before Christmas!!

Day 13:  I'm extremely Thankful for my church and church family. When you honestly say daily "I love my church" and get excited about how busy your Sundays are because you are so deeply involved and surrounded by so many amazing people. It's the best. Pastor Dave is remarkable and his sermons are always eye opening and a bit scary how close they touch base with things I've dealt with during the week. The pastoral staff (Jay, Jeff, Guy and Dave) are a great group of guys and I love how involved they are with the kids, you just

Don't see that often at churches. I could go on for an hour about all the reasons why I am thankful to be a part of Gracepoint Church.

Day 14: I'm Thankful for quiet mornings with a cup of coffee and a real book in my lap to help me escape for a small amount of time in contented bliss before my day starts with the girls.

Day 15: Hard to believe it's almost 5 years since my world changed completely. I'm so beyond Thankful that God blessed me with such an amazing gift that is Avery Claire Hartfield. I love you to the moon, stars and back again baby girl. You are such a blessing to me and your daddy.

Day 16: I'm Thankful for beautiful days out in nature. Whether it's sitting in my backyard or walking 6 miles on a nature trail. Gods limitless skill in his creativity is amazing to see when you look close enough. Even if it's cloudy and raining or a clear day with sunshine it's amazing what you can see when you look with both eyes open.

Day 17: I'm Thankful for those super rare but oh so coveted mornings where Evan gets up with the girls and I'm allowed to sleep in. Sleep is precious.

Day 18: Tomorrow my sweet baby will be 10m old! How is it she is almost 1?! I doubt we ever thought it would be this complete or amazing having a second girl in our family but our sweet Alyssa Jane is by far what we were missing. Watching her and Avery play together and laugh is truly the best thing to my heart. I love my girls so much and being their mother is so awesome. I'm so Thankful for her opposite personality and characteristics from Avery, they both keep me laughing and on my toes.

Thankful: Day 8-12

Day 8: I'm Thankful for Evans awesome family. His Aunt Holly flew in from Georgia last week and will be here through Thanksgiving. Love her so much! But his cousins and other aunts and uncles are always funny and caring and even though we don't see them often, they are amazing people.

Day 9:  I'm Thankful for weekend girl trips to unwind and relax and have a good time. This past weekend I went to San Antonio with Nan, her sister Holly and my best friend Stacy drove in from Houston. It was to celebrate Nan's birthday last week but became more if just a nice weekend away. Very needed. Evan and dad took care of the girls and I didn't feel guilty by Saturday night.

Day 10: I'm Thankful for my crockpot and Pinterest. Today's high is 49* and I love it! I also love making soup in my crockpot and the smell throughout my home. Sooo yummy.

Day 11: I'm Thankful for my sister Desi. She may be all the way up in NC but her daily snap chats, txts, pics and FB make it seem like she's with me everyday. I miss her a lot and it's almost been a year since we've been face to face. Hopefully that will get fixed soon. :) I love you, Desi! You're the best sister in the world. Even if I don't understand your generation and trends. ;)

Day 12: Doesn't matter to me which Branch you serve, THANK YOU will never be enough at times. To all the service men and women, Thank You!

Thankful: Day 4-7

Day 4- I'm Thankful for solid friendships with some amazing people. Some I've known for 15+ yrs, some I've never met in person and some I don't even need to see or talk to for months at a time but when we do it's like we've never been apart! You beautiful ladies are priceless to me and my family. The past 3yrs I've made drastic and sometimes painful life choices, I've let go of friendships I thought I had to keep. I let go of toxic relationships/friendships and have never been happier and it's due in part to the company I keep and all the positive you bring to my life in a multitude of ways.

Day 5- This group of people. For too many reasons to list so I'll say it with pictures.

Day 6- For my "Maaaa". Happy Birthday , today, to the best Mom/Nina/Best Friend/Banana in the Universe. You are priceless. Your faith and wisdom are my constant. You get me better than anyone else I know. I love our chats, random texts, trips, projects, love for all things British,etc. I could write a book. I love you, Nan.

Day 7-  chocolate and desserts. Need I say more?!